Aspieness!

Something I'd like to talk about in this blog is autism and, specifically, Aspergers syndrome. First of all I'd like to say that I myself have got Aspergers, but I'm still obviously not an expert, and I don't know much at all about 'classic autism' or PDD-NOS (the mildest form of autism, and one which is really sort of half way in between neurotypical and almost-aspie). Aspergers Syndrome is a pervasive developmental disorder on the autistic spectrum and the term was first coined by Hans Asperger in 1944 (I think I read that somewhere? not sure though). Aspergers children are just like neurotypical kids- they can have below to average to above intelligence, and some score exeptionally high in the IQ tests, although whether this is due to autism, we don't know. Aspie kids may be very intelligent but do badly in school due to lack of motivation, the ADHD which can sometimes accompany it, and the want to focus their abilities only on one chosen subject. Aspergers has become quite well known because of Mark Haddon's book, but I don't completely agree with his portrayal of it. Christopher seems much more to me like high functioning autistic. Usually the way you can tell HFA and Aspergers apart is when the child starts to speak. If there is no language delay, then it's probably Aspergers, which makes it harder to diagnose.

We don't know what causes it, but doctors have pointed to genetics and/or birth trauma as possible causes. If it's genetics, your parents or grandparents might possibly show some Aspie behaviours, but it won't be full blown autism. It's not due to bad parenting and some children can actually eventually even grow out of it.

I think that the word "syndrome" is a particularly bad choice of word. I don't feel like I have a syndrome. I've always known that I was a bit odd, but to me that's normality. Words like 'syndrome' I associate with diseases and things needing treatment. I think that families seeking 'cures' for autism are deluding themselves and that it can be so hurtful to the child. Sometimes parents need to step back and think to themselves that this is normal for their child and that if they want them to be normal, never mind, because that child is probably far happier in their world than in yours. That being said, good obviously can be done with a range of behavioural therapy, speech and motor therapy. If someone were to offer me motor therapy or social skills therapy (that one's quite new and we Aspies are the quintessential guinea pigs), I'd laugh in their face.

Parents who urge their children to be social, go on, make some friends, or why can't you stop that silly flapping- they're not doing any good and they're not making their children feel secure. I've gone on about Aspergers not being a syndrome and stuff, but there is a physical difficulty when it comes to socialising, and things like flapping is our way of coping.

I'm going to run through the main symptoms needed for diagnosis, and then I'll run through some more which are typical Aspergers traits.

Main symptoms-

- A need for repetitive behaviour, change is extremely difficult, the child will 'play' with their toys by lining them all up in order of size/colour/some obscure classification only they will think of. Flapping is something that a lot of us do, it's a type of stimming.

- Lack of appropriate social skills and lack of appreciation of social cues. Facial expressions and gestures are things which have to be learned to interpret. Unlike autistic children, Aspies are quite willing to make friends, but they'll demonstrate this in ways which will put the other children off. They might speak too loudly, stand too closely. However, there are a share of us who just aren't interested in other people and will willingly isolate ourselves. This may translate as flinching when people reach to touch them, thinking you're being friendly but coming across as aloof, cold and distant, actively disconnecting friendships. Conversations are minefields- whose turn is it to talk? Why should I make this small talk? I don't see the point of this exchange between myself and a person I find boring, etc etc.

- Obsessive behaviour. Usually over a very narrow topic, most commonly something based on logic, such as science, astronomy, maths, although the child can obsess over cartoons or music too. The child will spend a lot of time collecting information on that particular subject, and when prompted to talk, the child will focus on that. They will centre on the little details rather than the full picture. My obsessions have included the Holocaust, certain illness and books. At the moment, Aspergers is actually a semi-obsession, hence this post, which, I fear, will reach monstrous proportions.

Traits- these are not needed for diagnosis and a combination of them will not constitute a diagnosis, but alongside the main three above, they're typical autism.

- Need for pressure. For example, I get to sleep much easier if I have a weight pressing down on me. So I sleep with two duvets and a blanket in the middle of summer. This is a sensory thing (more about those later), but can also stem from the lack of physical contact. It can be very hard for an Aspie to comfortably accept contact from another human being, such as a hug or a pat, but we still crave that contact. Temple Grandin invented the hug machine for that!

- The sensory issues. It's an acute perception in one or more of the five senses. Some people are hypersensitive in all five. Textures are especially difficult for me. Also touch. For some people, their clothes bother them so much because all over their body their skin is hypersensitive. With me, it's just on my upper arms, shoulders and thighs. It's bad enough if someone just touches my hand quickly, but if they grab my shoulder I won't take it well! With the upper arms and thighs, I have periods of painfulness and okayness. Sometimes a light touch can be incredibly painful. Textures are in my mouth. Like, I hate liver because of the texture, but I don't mind the taste at all. Tuning out small sounds is impossible, and so is picking out a voice from background noise. I have to ask the person the repeat three or four times because I just can't distinguish the noise. But I can hear small sounds that other people can't. We usually have very good hearing, but mild or severe aucasia. You notice little details a lot more as well- things like if a pet has been replaced on a TV show (they were light grey before...now they're dark grey! shock horror!) or if someone's changed the position of a book or something in the room. I can't sit and read a book on a park bench because there'll be so many visual stimuli and sounds which will make it impossible to concentrate. I read most in the dark, with light only on the page. I can't stand noisy eaters- I can hear every chew and gulp and slurp and it disgusts me, I can't ignore it and it'll even make me quite angry.

- Clumsiness. Fine motor skills are difficult, but also just plain walking or things like sports can be a disaster. Sometimes I'll be walking in a wonky line and I'll try to make myself walk straight and fall over. It's pretty embarrassing. This can be linked to mild dyspraxia.

- Speech. Some people have a high pitched voice, some slur their words, some have a peculiar accent and stilted language is common. I talk very fast and people ask me to slow down. Aspergers kids are known as 'little professors' because they can know so much about a particular subject due to their extensive obsessive research. This means they'll often pick up words 'beyond their years'. Hyperlexia also occurs quite often. Hyperlexia (known as dyslexia's polar opposite) is learning to read especially early or especially quickly, and then reading material intellectually beyond what peers are reading, but often not understanding what they've been reading. I'd like to mention savantism. Austistic savants are extremely rare, but they're very well known (thank you, Mr. Rainman). We don't all have a special talent or an incredible memory, but savantism is due to the autism and for those who are savants, it's usually their whole life.

- Depression and ADHD are common. Sometimes the autism is initially misdiagnosed as ADHD. The depression often comes from the frustration of coping with the modern world and making friends and things like that, and this can be significant in teenage years when the gap widens much more.

- Seeming odd or cold or saying things which don't really match. Standing awkwardly, or with the hands being a bit floppy, things which make you think that the person's just a bit off.

- Not taking a special interest in your appearance or hygiene. Some people's lack of personal hygiene stems from the sensory thing- for some people, the sensation of water on skin is unpleasant, or the smell of shower gel is too strong, or something like that. I personally go round looking a bit of a mess- don't brush my hair, rarely wear makeup, manage to do my eyebrows a couple of times a year, if that! Aspies are often teased because they don't really care about brands and clothes marks, same with 'must have' material things such as iPhones, although they may have one or two treasured objects.

- Young children may not recognise themselves in a photograph, or they may not know what they look like. I remember thinking that I didn't look like anything- I thought I had a very unrecognisable face. I couldn't picture it in my mind and I was always surprised when people recognised me in the street. Having said that, autistic children think in pictures rather than words- if you're reading a book, it's easier to create a picture of them in your mind.

- Wanting to separate foods into colour groups, or only eating a certain type of food.

- Having meltdowns, which can last hours. These aren't just temper tantrums which you have to control, otherwise the child will be 'spoilt'. They are sparked off by something which will have appeared very scary to the child. It can be a shiny object or the bright lights in a shop. Seizures are relatively uncommon, but they can be considered a symptom.

- Children are more likely to form attachments to objects than to people.
- Having a non-modulated, monotonic voice, lack of facial expressions, lack of eye contact, echolalia. Sometimes children will repeat former conversations and certain sentences to get the inflexions completely right. With the eye contact thing, it's really difficult. People don't get why you can't just look them straight in the eye and they'll see you as rude in the end. It's like a barrier. Your child may look like they are day dreaming or like they're off in their own word, up in the clouds, but that blank stare can be them paying attention to you because facial expressions have to be learnt.

- Learned behaviours- your child won't be able to interpret social cues and she'll be a bit like a blank canvas when it comes to simple behaviours which others can pick up naturally. Things like putting your hands on your hips, slouching, standing with one arm behind your back, raising your eyebrows- these can all be learned. When I was little I used to watch the other children and copy them and store away their mannerisms so I could use them later.

- Body focused repetitive behaviours- this can turn into a sort of ritual. These are things which happen for a long time each day, regularly, and without which the person will feel nervous. This includes nose picking, biting the inside of the cheek, picking the skin around the fingernails, picking spots, the scalp and dandruff, ears, whatever. On a lesser level, they can cause minor infections and bleeding, but they can also turn into obsessions.

- Being too trusting, not knowing when someone's made a joke and feeling the pressure to laugh when everyone else is, even if you haven't understood anything.
- Children will voluntarily spend a lot of time in their room on the internet, because they'll find likeminded people on there.

- Aspies are known to be unempathetic, but I don't necessarily agree with that, although quite a few of us are remarkably "cold-hearted". We are also known not to have imagination- not in things like art or writing, but social imagination. We don't know what the other person will do next, things like that.

- Anger management will be a chore, because a lot of things will be frustrating and foreign.

- Wanting to smell or lick things. I will smell most things before using them, cutlery, my fingers all the time, pens, paper etc etc.

- Having a genuine and unconditional love of animals. Animal are much more simple to understand than humans and you know how they're feeling. Real and complex relationships are struck up much more easily and faithfully with animals. Children may also find it easier to make friends with younger children, although shared make believe can become a struggle.

- Obsessions with trains or maps and globes are very frequent.

- Not trusting parents to wash up 'their' cups and plates- they'll do it themselves.
With all that said...there are hundreds more little traits and tricks that Aspies have, we tend to be pretty original individuals! (: